Through the sheets of clouds

There are only a few days left in 2022, and what a year it has been. The memory of last Christmas is still fresh in my mind. We traveled 18 hours in our teardrop trailer to spend the holiday with our daughters and their husbands. We had a wonderful time—until, suddenly, everyone except us got Covid. Thankfully, they all recovered.

In April, my mum passed away peacefully after a ten-year struggle with Alzheimer’s, and just two months later, my husband’s parents passed away unexpectedly, just twenty-five hours apart from each other.

Mary Oliver writes, “It was a wild night with the road full of branches and stones, voices left behind.” I admire the poetic depth of her words. Looking back, reflecting on the year, I’m reminded that at the time, we had no idea what was to come. And if I had known, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to face it.

I’m currently reading Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces, and one of his famous quotes has stuck with me: “We must let go of our plans so that we can accept the life that awaits.” Another of his insights that resonates deeply is that being who you are is the privilege of a lifetime. This idea beautifully ties in with Oliver’s words: “As you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own.”

  The Journey

By Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew

What you had to do, and began, Though the voices around you Kept shouting

Their bad advice‚

Though the whole house

Began to tremble

And you felt the old tug

At your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

Each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do, Though the wind pried

With its stiff fingers

At the very foundations‚ Though their melancholy

Was terrible.

It was already late

Enough, and a wild night,

And the road full of fallen Branches and stones.

But little by little,

As you left their voices behind, The stars began to burn Through the sheets of clouds, And there was a new voice, Which you slowly

Recognized as your own,

That kept you company

As you strode deeper and deeper Into the world,

Determined to do

The only thing you could do‚ Determined to save

The only life you could save.

     ‘The Journey,’ from Dream Work by Mary Oliver. © 1986